Category Archives: For Thought

Women and the Plight of Pain

Does society ignore women’s pain? Do women ignore their own pain? This is a conversation that  I think warrants a discussion. There is an underlying theme that women should and will experience a great amount of pain at some point. There is one organ in particular that is definitely associated with pain. And that is the vagina.

Yes, this post is going to be about the vagina. The love below, natures scared purse, lotus flower bomb,  the va-yi-nya ( broad city pun). One of the things I noticed is that vagina is kinda thought of a burden to most women. I mean it bleeds once a month, it secretes randomly, and it’s super sensitive.  There are some days when it seems like it’s 4 5  seconds from a yeast infection and always the fear of a smell. But Can I tell you, I love my vagina. It’s pretty effing amazing. Lets just start off with the obvious, it partners up with the uterus to produce a whole human being. It’s strong as AF, and that secretion is it’s ability to self clean (can we say independent woman).

But the reason I think this precious little organ gets a bad rep is because of the pain association.  I have tons of friends who experience cramping during their period. Which has been an accepted fact…periods pretty much equal cramping. Period cramps can be very very very very painful. Now the pain does range from person to person. For example some of my friends and family experience little to no cramping at all, some are bed ridden, some get dizzy and light-headed, and have even passed out (okay that last one has happened to me). However we all seem to get the same cocktail if we complain about pain ; ibuprofen and birth control, which may or may not help.

Something just doesn’t seem right. Isn’t there another answer?

I do want to bring light to this issue. Pain is your body’s way of saying something is not right and we as women should start addressing our pain. Also it needs to be address with a little more than BC and ibuprofen. We are NOT sensitive, hormonal, crazy and erratic. We’re in pain. So Ladies fight for yourself. If you don’t think it’s right, it probably isn’t;r talk to you doctors.

With that be said, I stumbled upon this podcast called Another Round (new fav) and they did an interview with Padma Lakshmi host of Top Chef and Author of a couples of books. She talks a little bit about her journey to understand why she was in pain during her period. I thoroughly enjoyed her story and her take on women’s pain.

Check it out


Genesis 3:16 To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.”
Continue reading Women and the Plight of Pain


I’ve been dating since I was 15!

One of my favorite scenes from Sex and the City is when Charlotte has a melt down and says …

You know what the GIF doesn’t do it justice here’s the whole scene

I know how Charlotte feels. My hair hurts too! Being my own “White Knight” sounds super depressing when I grew up with subliminal messages telling me he’s out there. Aka, I hate you Disney…sike I’m just kidding…but forreal though you kinda screwed me over.

I, Katiya, literally hate dating.  Plenty of fish gave me anxiety; so I deleted it, I only used tinder for thumb exercises; so I deleted it, and I still haven’t mastered the technique of looking available but not thotish on instagram; I still have a instagram (@Katiyaj). Any way, I say all this to say, I’m not quite sure how I’m supposed to find “the one”, if I don’t date. I’m not quite sure if “the one” really exist.

Growing up in a Christian household I was told to bring all of my concerns to God . So I ‘ve been talking to God about my frustrations with dating, men, love, and my ovaries. I’ve asked him several times how will I become a successful woman with a great career, a wonderful husband and beautiful kids, if I can’t find somebody who I’m compatible with.

Today I came across this video ( Thanks God).  It made me feel a lot better about myself and my current singleness and I hope it does the same for you.

Here are the main points of the video:

1. You’re a person of great worth and potential.

2. You’re a work in progress.

3. The key to becoming is beginning at the right place.

4. Having a life story IS BETTER than a love story.

5. Having a purpose fuels everything, and it will end up fueling who you marry and why.

The video is a little long but it’s worth it.

Christina & Meredith’s Best Moments in gifs

Maybe you’re a die hard Grey’s Anatomy fan, or maybe you stopped watching a few seasons ago when Shonda Rhimes’s trademark melodrama got to be too much for you. Either way last week’s “Farewell to Christina” marked the end of an era in terms of friendship. Meredith and Christina’s co-dependence will go down in history along with Will & Grace…. Monica & Rachel… Lavern & Shirley … Lucy & Ethel!

The only thing missing from the nights episode (which ended with a gratifying “dance it out”) was a cliche and well deserved montage of our fav duo through the years.  Here you have it

meredith and christina gif meredith and christina gif meredith and christina gif meredith and christina giftumblr_n5nb3f0tom1qfmzxdo1_r2_250

meredith and christina gifmeredith and christina gifmeredith and christina gifmeredith and christina gifmeredith and christina gif35tumblr_inline_n5sgiaARet1rs5swotumblr_mb3e6rw5ju1rom3n8tumblr_mt828zj26D1s194bvo1_500cy-gif-9GIFs-Meredith-Cristina-Dancing-Grey-Anatomy

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farewell Christina

Love the existential bummer

Is love the “existential bummer”?  Have you every felt extremely content , and yet a little sad  at the same time? Or maybe looked at your partner or even your best friend and and felt a little haunted by a thought in the back of your mind: “but what about that the day that we’re not like this anymore?”

Well you’re not alone, its simply part of the human condition, as Jason Silva eloquently explains in this short but thought provoking video, about the acceptance & rejection of temporary joy.



“perhaps that’s why when we’re in love we’re also kind of sad, there’s a sadness to the ecstasy, you know beautiful things can sometimes make us a little sad and its because what they hint at is the exception, a vision of something more , a vision of a hidden door , a rabbit hole to fall through , but a temporary one . I think ultimately that is kind of the tragedy. That is why love simultaneously fills us with melancholy, that’s why sometimes I feel nostalgic over something I haven’t lost yet , because I see its transience. How does one respond to this? Do we love harder , do we squeeze tighter? Or do we embrace the Buddhist creed of no attachment? Do we pretend not to care that everything and everyone we know is going to be taken away from us?”

What do you choose?

The 99 Things You Learn Being a Single Girl in Your 20s

Well not all 99, but 12 that made me say “Yessssss” out loud and have flash backs to the moments and guys that helped me learn these very lessons

8. Just because someone loves you does not mean that person understands you

9. You should always be your number one priority, no matter how often your relationship status fluctuates

10. If he’s too good to be true, ignore the truth until you can’t any longer and promise to learn better the next time

11. Don’t overlook your friends for a guy

12. A steady rotation is never a bad thing

13. However, it gets really awkward when those in the rotation meet one another

14. You will not find your soul mate via a dating app

15. However you will download and delete dating apps at least three times before realizing this

27. Cry hard about something that upset you and never cry about the same thing again

28. It’s perfectly okay to stay in on the weekends with your best friend, watch “Law & Order” and complain about how single you both are

63. Often it means more to trust someone than to love that person

99. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean no one loves you

See full elite daily article here.

All of My Favorite TV Characters Keep Dying

All of My Favorite TV Characters Keep Dying:

A Look At Six TV Deaths We’re Sure We Will Never Get Over

It’s in marketing’s nature for television shows to say that each episode is going to be “the most dramatic episode of television ever” or something as grandiose and obscene that writers can never really come through on. This year, however, it seems series aren’t afraid of killing off regulars. Although some shows are following the design that was made far before their existence (House of Cards), other shows are fearlessly murdering their main characters. Here are the most shocking character loses of the past four months.


Brian Griffin


The death of this beloved dog from Family Guy was so shocking to fans that social media seemed to go up in flames with petitions against the dogs death. Alas, the death lasted only a few weeks, but like any beloved character, Brian’s death was truly a shocker to fans.


Clay Morrow

clay morrow

Sons of Anarchy fans knew that the end of Clay Morrow’s reign was inevitable, but it was still hard to see him go! As show creator Kurt Sutter told EW,  “As much as people say that they want Clay dead, they don’t want Clay dead…They want to see it be complicated. They want to see how Gemma feels about betraying Clay. They want to see how Juice feels about betraying. They want to see that play out even though they, in their gut, they know the guy should be dead.” Ahh, I guess in Morrow’s case, there is a little rest for the wicked.



Joss Carter

joss carter

Audiences were (umm, present tense ‘are’ still for some of us) devastated when Detective Carter was killed in this season’s Person of Interest. Commercials leading up to the episode all pointed in the direction that another character would be killed off, but when it was Carter who was taken down, fans immediately went to social media to express their outrage at the loss of good gal Carter. I guess that last moment between Carter and Reese became the literal kiss of death…


Zoe Barnes

zoe barnes

Okay! It is true that Zoe Barnes dies in the British version of House of Cards and so her death shouldn’t have been a big shocker. But somehow when (almost) President Underwood pushes feisty little Zoe in front of a moving subway train IN THE FIRST 30 MINUTES OF SEASON TWO, I was waiting for some sign that this was a horrible day dream designed by Underwood.  Three episodes passed and I was still waiting for Zoe to reappear, alive and in tact. I hope Zoe is resting in some chair-less journalist heaven.


James Novak

james novak

Novak’s husband had almost gotten him bumped off before, but this time it seems Cyrus’ actions really got his own husband killed. Just when it seems Cyrus and James can pull it together and be a family, Shonda Rhimes and the Scandal writers (or “the crushers of all dreams” as I like to call them) decide to make sure former sweetheart Jake gruesomely kills James, and stays to watch him go. Rest in peace to the white hats, no?


Will Gardner

will gardner

As this death just happened only hours ago—with no warning and seemingly no real end game—it’s still a big shocker to me. Gardner’s chemistry with Alicia—their banter, their eye contact, their obvious pull to one another—is the main reason many fans continue to watch the Will-Alicia-Peter love triangle after FIVE seasons. The Kings had managed to keep writing the same love story without making their audience ever wish it would end. One thing audiences across the board (and I myself!) thought was that whenever The Good Wife ended, Alicia and Will would be hand-in-hand. Apparently we were all so very wrong.

There are exactly five stages of grief. I’ll let you know when I get past stage one.


Can you be happy for 100 days?  That’s the question one website is asking. Simple enough right? And yet the creators of this movement  report that 71% of people fail this challenge citing “time” as their reason for not continuing.  So, do you have time to be happy?  encourages people to slow down, enjoy the moment and appreciate even the small things everyday that contribute to their total happiness. All you have to do is register {here}, and commit to sharing 1 photo each day of something…anything that made you HAPPY. You can post these pictures on your social network of choice {with the hashtag #100HappyDays}, which they’ll track, or email it to them privately. If you complete the 100 consecutive days then you’re promised a mini book with your 100 moments {cute!}.

Why do this??
Why do this??
“#100happyday challenge is for you – not for anyone else.
It is not a happiness competition or a showing off contest. If you try to please / make others jealous via your pictures – you lose without even starting. Same goes for cheating.”

You didn’t miss it! Start the challenge at any time, and remind yourself of the ways you Rise&Revel

my favs

Sex and Economics????

Welcome to 2014, where there is less dating and more ” I’m just here to have fun”. Where “side chicks” are glorified. Where strippers become wives right before your eyes and have picture perfect marriages. There has truly been a change in the dating game and I think it would be nice if someone would kindly explain what is happening. Well… someone has actually taken the time to research this phenomena

The Austin Institute for the Study of Family and Culture has an interesting perspective on how/why dating has changed over the years.  To sum up their answer in a few words… the need to make a commitment has changed because the supply and demand of sex has changed over the years.

Things a Woman Must Do

Well first, there are some things a woman must do for herself. Admit who you are and where you are and how you are to yourself. You don’t have to do that to anyone else. But admit who you are to your-self. Have enough courage. And say, [if it’s the case] ‘I’m overweight. I am underweight. I’m not using my time intelligently. I’m not getting enough rest. I’m not having enough fun. I’m not reading enough.’ And say it to your-self. Make notes to yourself so you can improve yourself.- Maya Angelou

Very appropriate for the beginning of the year. What needs to change in your life?  Remember acknowledgment is the first step in progress. 1 month down, 11 left for opportunity, and like a friend of mine always says “every day is another chance”